08 August 2011

Growing Pains

Today for a split second I wished I could have one day as a kid again. Just one day. It would be enough to run through the sprinklers, make my own play-dough, read a book hidden behind an armchair in the study, and play street hockey with the neighbors. It would be care-free and full of bliss. I would get to enjoy the beautifully hot day swimming in a pool, my hair slowly greening up a bit from the chlorine, and my skin just little pinker than before. My sisters and I would run into the woods in the backyard and work on the fort with the neighbor kids. But most importantly: it would not involve one bit of responsibility other than playing nice with the other kids, getting home on time, and maybe doing a chore or two. That's it. Nothing more required of small child me.

When you're a kid, no one tells you what growing up is really like. All we see is that adults had freedom. They could do whatever they wanted and no one told them what to do. They had independence. No one tells you that greater independence requires greater responsibility. Maybe that's what they mean to say with "enjoy being a kid while you can." They forget to mention the whole responsibility thing.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy my life. But sometimes it would be really nice to have a little less responsibility.

Today I had to fire one of my employees and I felt the responsibility of taking away her employment weigh down on me like a whole offensive line had just dogpiled on me. And I wished for a split second that I could have one day as a kid again.

Responsibility free.

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